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Life provides unfortunate, inconvenient events sometimes, which occasionally spur us to reconnect with old flames.

My grandmother passed away last month, followed a few weeks later by one of my dogs. I'm not a mastered agent when it comes to grappling with death; I don't handle loss well, and most of my emotions have a tendency to root into everything/one around me. I never had a chance to say goodbye to either of them. I'm relieved for that. I struggle with words on a daily basis, but to try and piece together the very last ones they'll remember me by? That sort of labour could very well isolate me from recovery.

Today, I feel okay. Better than okay! I have a little over a month left here, and while I'm going to miss the flare of city life, it's exciting to return "home" to see my family again. I have some really good friends I haven't seen since we were in high school together, and my siblings especially have changed. I'm really looking forward to meeting their new selves!

But in the midst of this anticipation, I also remember that there's two very important pieces I no longer have. Death is an unwanted visitor--unplanned, unceremonious in their arrival, and what's left behind is always a mess in our hearts. These days, it's not really a matter of how I'm feeling. I've taught myself over the years that despite how low I've reached, I have sturdy legs and fervent arms to pull myself above the ground. I leap to fly. When I'm caught, I eagerly search for another approach. Not everyone's like that, and it was ignorance I wore for a long, long time that led me to disregard feelings like my mother's, a woman who's certainly impressed me with her unmatched ability to save face and pull herself together. I can't say I know how my little brothers and sister feel, but I think the weight of loss bears more strongly with them. Distance was a safe coat for me; I didn't witness the cancer peeling my grandmother's sanity from her, nor the tumour that eventually dragged away my dog's last breaths. I'm really, really lucky for that privilege.

My apologies! This wasn't supposed to be a solemn post. I guess the feelings needed to work themselves out, because I do feel a little calm now that I've written my piece on the matter.

On to better things! I know my presence has been wary on dA, so here's to me fixing that! There's a cauldron-ful of ideas I've been brewing the past few months, and I'd like to see them take some sort of form. 

  • No Prey, No Pay: Several times I've debated whether I should pause and rewrite this story, or simply start anew; however, I've decided it's best to continue, considering how many people have invested in it over the years. It would feel great on my part to watch it reach completion, and should the energy and time warrant me the chance to rewrite it, that could be a fun project for the future! Besides, the next chapter is half-way done! There's an update on the horizon.

  • Bane Story: This one, however, will be rewritten. I started it during a hype without a fully constructed plot to support it, and there's no way I can continue it as is. I'll leave up the old chapters for those who enjoyed it/may prefer it over the new direction the story will take, but another fic with the same OC (but slightly altered premise) will arise soon!

  • Wolf's Rain: Gaaaaah, Wolf's Rain has been my favourite anime since I was 12!! I was originally hoping to finish a piece for a dA contest, but regretfully, time constraints halted that. In lieu of a one-shot, though, I've decided to construct a very old plot idea I've been sitting with for about as long as I've been rewatching the anime. I'm really excited to bring it to fruition! There's been a number of occasions where I've thought "this is it, this is the AU/setting/intro that's going to kick us off", and each time, the story's flopped because of my own indecisiveness. Not this friggen frackle time.  I've scheduled a rewatch of the series this weekend, after which I'll create a detailed plot list, and finally finally finally manage a story worth writing! And for those of you who haven't seen Wolf's Rain yet, YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE MISSING!! I NEED SOMEONE TO SOB WITH ME OVER TSUME, AND TOE-BOY, AND HIGE, AND THAT LITTLE FUSSY-PANTS KIBA! Please, please go watch the 30 episodes (four of which are recapped ones that you can totally skip over--'cept Tsume's because his perspective is always best) and bask in the greatness of this classic! I have endless, limitless, relentless love for Wolf's Rain!

  • Unnamed: This one I'm still debating over whether I'll post on dA, or simply create a new account to host it. It's a story that wraps around Greek mythology, but with a delicious fandom taste. Of course, it's not the normal slice of what I write (anime/manga/comics/book fics), so I'm hesitant to bridge something different. @_@ I know, I know, what's the point on bringing it up then? I'm hoping this will shove me into finally making a decision.  


I've written so much here, when all I wanted to do was say "hi, I'm here and thinking of you all". I'm a hassle to myself. ;w; 

Here's loving everyone with the force of a thousand suns!! AND DON'T FORGET TO WATCH WOLF'S RAIN!  (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

  • Mood: Content
  • Listening to: Isle of Flightless Birds - Twenty One Pilots
  • Watching: Wolf's Rain (well, soon)
  • Playing: Pokemon Ruby
  • Drinking: Iced Tea

Comments


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:iconbluedreamerr:
BlueDreamerr Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014  Student General Artist
thanks so much for the donatioin! :happybounce: 
Reply
:iconaguarose:
aguarose Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! Here's hoping you'll reach your goal!
Reply
:iconhuntingforbeasts:
HuntingForBeasts Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2014  Student General Artist
huntingforbeasts.deviantart.co…

>//////////////< ENJOY XD
Reply
:iconhuntingforbeasts:
HuntingForBeasts Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2013  Student General Artist
So I got home from school. I finally have two weeks off! :iconpeeka-booplz:

So I, like always, ran to my laptop to go fangirl over some Shanks. :iconmyhairplz:

Then I went to deviantart! :iconlolimhighplz:

Then I saw in my messages that a premium membership was activated.
First I was like: "Huh? Wat is dis?" :iconsleepybooplz: Then: "Well whatever... Let's watch more Shanks!" :iconmyjamplz:

Then I looked at my page. :iconsexyhairplz:
Huh? Why is there a star behind my name? :iconwhyme1plz:
...
STAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRR!!! :iconrunbitchrunplz:

*clicks messages again* Ohhh! :iconsurpriseddogplz:
OOOOOHHHH!!! :iconmyfaceeeplz:

AGUAROSE!!! :iconinternalconflictplz: 

:iconcannotevenplz:

:iconcryforeverplz: Giiiiirlll :iconluvluvplz:

C'mere. :iconletmehugyouplz::iconoldschoolownedplz::iconsupertighthugplz::iconsnugglyplz:

Thank you so much for giving me a premium membership :iconyuicryplz:

HOW WILL I EVER BE ABLE TO REPAY DISSSS :iconngeeeplz:

Thank youuuu :iconsoemotionalplz: And happy holidays toooo :iconsoemotionalplz::iconsoemotionalplz::iconsoemotionalplz::iconsoemotionalplz:
Reply
:iconaguarose:
aguarose Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hi, Ilsie! I got so excited last night I found it hard to fall asleep because I couldn't wait to see your reaction. >_<

I logged onto DA, saw the little promotion, and I figured "yeah, time of giving, this is a really nice gift to take advantage of" but I've lost contact with most of the people I used to be with on here. @_@ However, in only a few days, you've been so kind and exuberant and very friendly, and I thought this would be the best grand gesture! Huggle! Your energy has to be my most favourite thing (and those awesome, suave skills with emoticons).  

You're welcome times a hundred! :happybounce: 

(I'll also be replying to your other messages, but this one needed my attention first!)
Reply
:iconhuntingforbeasts:
HuntingForBeasts Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2013  Student General Artist

Haha, I know that feeling :iconsquishycheeksplz: I'm always like that when an awesome fanfiction is getting really fun and epic and cute and all the awesome but then there is no next chapter but I really need to know what happens next  *hint hint* :iconifyouknowhatimeanplz:

I really can't thank you enough TTuTT Emoji26

BUT!

... I will thank you again! Emoji13

Star Emoji by kawaiiprincess2  THANK  YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU Star Emoji by kawaiiprincess2

:iconarmstrongtighthugplz:

I will try my best and continue giving you my energy Hai by Emoji-kun

:iconbrohugplz:

Thank you again Aguarose :iconluvluvplz:

:iconsneakhugplz:

Mind if I ask you your real name? :icongaywinkplz:

Free Kaomoji Three! by KawaiiPosts ~ Ilse
Reply
:iconkenseigoku:
kenseigoku Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2013
thanks for the fav+ of Mihawk And if you has time look at my gallery I have of other One Piece
Reply
:iconaguarose:
aguarose Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're most welcome, and I definitely will! I see you have Saint Seiya, too! :3
Reply
:iconkenseigoku:
kenseigoku Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2013
ok cool thanks and yes I even have a group saint-seiya :iconsaint-seiya-fan-club: is my the founder and welcome too you friend :hug:
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:iconartman179:
Artman179 Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Thanks for faving :D
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